~Sanctuary~

Life Or Something Like It

2008-08-21T17:23:27Z

So, just what everyone wants to read eh? Another blog about my shitty relationships.

So, for the first time in my life, I'm actually IN love with someone. But...he's already hurt me...I mean...It's not every day a gal from your past shows up and just EXPECTS you to still be with her...It was crazy...I didn't know what to do...I overreacted, I cried, I threw a fit...but most importantly?

I FOUGHT FOR HIM.

But for what? Just to be faced with the same problem with the same girl a few weeks later? It felt like a never-ending cycle...it finally stopped...but....old flames can always be re-kindled....

So...I'll admit...I'm scared that there's something going on behind my back that he's not telling me about. I mean, it's not like I'm filled with UBER amounts of doubt, but this is a trust issue here, and he's gonna have to kiss ass to gain it back...

Okay, I wouldn't exactly say kiss ass, but he's gonna have to make it up to me somehow. Why? BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED ABOUT THIS SITUATION!!! D=<

-sigh- Maybe I'm just overreacting again? I dunno...I wouldn't be making such a big deal about this if I didn't love the guy.

Bleh.

I've had a few people to talk to about this, but they're so against him, that they don't listen sometimes. People keep telling me to leave him and that it's not worth it...but to leave him would break my heart...and I don't want to go through that again...not after what Sasuke-fuck did to me.

Granted, I'm only 18 almost 19 (YAY!) and I still have the rest of my life to find true love, but....I'm tired of being lonely, and I'm being selfish; wanting it now!

I guess the real issue is that, I'm tired of having my heart broken? I'm tired of being depressed, I'm tired of having a fuck up for a father, I'm tired of being broke poor, I'm tired of fighting with my mother, I'm tired of disliking my little brother, and I'm tired of being jealous of my best friend.

It just gets aggravating sometimes....I feel like a mooch, just like my mother said I was....I'm not doing as best as I can...and it just sucks. I know I'm much more capable then what I give.

I want to go to school...but money isn't there. I want to sing, but smoking has fucked up my voice. I want to write, but I have no ideas! I want to be perfect, but I CAN'T. It's just one big fucking struggle, that I don't want to put up with....but if I don't fight for what I want, I'll never get it.

Must be time for me to get up off my lazy ass and finally do something with my life.

I can't live like this forever.

Where's my knight in shining armor on a valiant white steed?

-.- This isn't Shrek.

Gay.

But what I do know, is that I have amazing family, amazing friends, and those people love me. So no matter how much I fuck up, no matter how much I suck, or how much I just epically fail....my family/friends have my back.

...............At least I hope so.

Well, that's it for tonight. When something devastating happens again, you'll see another blog.

Pray to God that doesn't happen soon...ya'll know I can type for hours about senseless/useless bullshit.

Adios.

Wtf?

2008-04-11T15:06:39Z

I don't even know what I want to say about the last entry...

-sigh- Guess I was just venting? Sorry mom.

-------

I need to learn to not get attached so much....I gave my heart away a long time ago to a boy I thought deserved it. Guess I was wrong? I don't even know how to deal with it...no one knows that I did that...and I'm starting to wish I hadn't done it.

Why?

Because...he's with someone now...but tells me not to get all distant. AND then...he knows he still has it...so he says he'll put it in his safe with all this other valuables...wow, I feel fucking special. I get to be put away in a safe! No air holes or anything! Why don't you just choke me and call me a fucking slut?

-sigh-

I miss him, that's for sure....Why? Because when we used to talk all the time...he made me laugh, smile, even cry I laughed so fucking hard. He was everything I thought I wanted...but then...we grew distant. Stop answering my calls, never replied to my text messages and just...never called or anything period. I should've taken my heart back right then and there...but I couldn't. It just wasn't in me to.

So...I'm sorry. Sorry for being so weak...so easily deceived, so easily broken...I'm just sorry...

And to you, who will never read this entry...I love you...and I'm sorry for giving you my heart.

Oh for the Love of GOD

2008-03-17T09:29:25Z

You know....

There comes a time in ones life, when they finally realize that they need to grow up. I guess, I've finally hit that time?

The relationships I've made, I've lost, I've hoped to have, are now nothing but dreams, fantasies, and shipments of major fail. I don't even know where to begin really. I've lost things that I wish I could get back and I know I can't. Here...let me give you a list.

1. My mother
2. My brothers
3. My life
4. My family
5. My cat
6. My heart
7. My soul
8. My body
9. I'm running out of things I want back...

Shall I give a description of each? I think I should...whether you want to hear it or not.

1. My mother
-- She and I got into a huge blow out and things just went horribly wrong. I've tried to break all ties with her, but it's not working. Why? Because she's my god damned mother. I love her to death. I NEED to have at least one parent in my life and...for some odd FUCKING reason, she's the one I want...I can't trust my father anymore. Fucking asshole. I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION. -sigh- But that's not important right now.

FUCKING PEOPLE MADE ME LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT..... -.-

Ahem. -clears throat-

2. My brothers
-- Granted...I love them terribly...but...I know we're all not as close as we used to be. And it's because I'm such a bitch...I really need to work on that....If they ever read this...I hope they know how much I love them.

3. My life
-- Where did it go? Because I sure as hell don't know...I miss it. I've fucked my life right in the ass...no, more like raped my life right in the ass.

--------

I lost my thoughts....I'll finish this later...maybe.

Memories?

2008-03-15T01:01:39Z

So, I was reading through my journal entries...

And I stumbled upon an entry that kinda...brought back memories I didn't want to have again...

There are so many people I put my trust in and they just went off and crushed it. I'm tired of doing things like that...

Not to mention, I stumbled upon the journal entry of when my uncle passed away....I think I about died all over again when I read that. I miss him horribly...he was my light....and now everything is dark.

Hm...I have to go.

I'll finish later.

Drifting Off Into Lala Land?

2008-03-15T00:30:38Z

................RAWR!

So much anger...in one tiny little room.....

But...I believe it's settled now.

NOT MY FAULT! :D

I didn't do it this time.

Surprised aren't you?

I wasn't even involved....

So here I am, sitting at the computer, talking with Colin and Tyler...web camming with Tyler, and looooooooooooooooooooving my Colin. :)

Sara is next to me on the bed, talking with the Highlander....>.< So angry!!!! RAWR!!

o.o

There's a big awkward silence right now....

O.O And....blow jobs....O_O

OH GOD...

I...gotta go....

Oi Vey...

2008-03-13T23:36:24Z

God, I don't even know how long it's been...fucking forever that's for sure.

SO many things have happened as of late.

That OH so amazing boyfriend...cheated on me. So...he can go eat a big bag of dick. :D

I'm living with my bestest friend in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Sara = FTW.

I ended getting World of Warcraft back in like September and I must say, I'm addicted. I love it. :D

That is also where I met the boy I'm quite interested in now. Good? YES! Bad? He lives in Australia....-.- BUT. We have just made the decision together that he's going to start saving to come out here....O.O I was like "That's a shit ton of money love...are you sure?" and he only laughed at me, "I'd do anything for you." -feels all warm in side and giggles- I'm excited for when he comes...granted, it won't be for a while...but that proves to EVERYONE that there is someone out there for me. Oh, he's also 26....:D Not like I fucking care...:D

-sighs- Ahh...life.

>.< Fucking sucks sometimes.

That is all.

This Empty Feeling

2007-07-01T02:35:45Z

Won't seem to go away.

I have this amazing boyfriend, which I told you about a couple days ago, but it seems that...he's always talking to my other friend. I know it sounds mean, but...they can back off each other. I'm trying to talk to him now, but he's so fucking wrapped up in her, and it makes me sick.

Okay, so I am being selfish, and conceited. So fucking what? He's my boyfriend, and she gets to talk to him more than I do? BULLSHIT. It's SO not fair. Oh, turns out she likes him too. Great. She's darker than I am. I'm cute, bubbly, and I like the light. He's gonna go for her, the first chance he gets, no? He said he'd never do that to me, but why do I have this stabbing fear of doubt?

I get this other feeling that, I'm not good enough for him. I love this guy to fucking death and I just feel empty when I talk to him. He can be so sad, so depressing and I want to bring him out of that. I guess I happen to attract the lost little ones or something like 't that. WTF? I dunno, my mom said that to me.

I don't want to lose him though. He's the best thing to happen to me in a LONG while. So, why, does this all hurt so much?

I mean, is it really bad, when I have to ask for attention from him? Probably...but I guess, I can't see it. Or I don't want to see it. I just...love him so much.

I really do.

Love is blind eh?

Holy Cow

2007-06-29T02:15:12Z

Well...it says that the last time I updated was about, four weeks ago?

WOW.

So, how about an update then?

I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Aishitemas Sasuke-kun. He has the most amazing voice, he's kind, sweet, and to die for. He's so fucking talented too.

I quit my job. FUCK YOU ARBY'S!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Got another job. I SELL PICKLES!!!! WEWT.

I'm going to Florida for two weeks. A week at my aunt's and a week with my TERRIFIC FRIEND: MANDY! I wub joo.

I'm starting college in the fall at Macomb. I'm excited. I'm a college student and I graduated from LCN! YAHOO!!!!! I'm actually amazed that I made it. Thank God.

Oh, back to Sasuke-kun right quick. He's gotten me into the greatest music in the fucking world. I now love Death Cab for Cutie, Head Automatica, and Dance Gavin Dance. Beautiful music. Absolutely beautiful.

Yeah, I'll be honest, I'm head over heels for the guy. I've never been happier, despite what my previous journal entries have said about M and E. >.< Fuck those two. They can drop off the face of the planet for all I care. Thank you.

Been writing lots lately. Surprisingly.
Been singing lots lately. Astonishingly.
Quit smoking. WAHOO.

Planning out the rest of my life. Slowly but surely.

Well, it was nice to update. I needed to.

Love you all.

Muah, muah.
Becca

Pitiful

2007-05-31T05:37:31Z

That's how I feel right now.

Like I'm not good enough for her.

Like she's better than me.

Well, in one way, she is.

She has what I want.

And she rubs it in my face.

Es tut mir lied.

I've said it and apparently it meant nothing.

Sharpen your knives!

For the backstabbing continues.

Bring a white towel.

So you can show off the innocent blood you've spilt.

And wear gloves.

Why?

So you don't get caught.

--------

I'm sorry.

But, I can't stop dragging that sharp jagged blade across my face, wishing it was never there.

The harder I cut, the more I bleed and the more my heart cries out for mercy,

Maybe when I start dragging that sharp jagged blade across your face and your heart, you'll know what it's like to truly bleed.

--------

She sat there, in the dimly lit room; the only light was swimming from the small candle that was lit. Her hands held out in front of her, and her head down, she tried to catch her crumbling heart, but it simply fell between her fingers.

Her eyes widened in absolute horror, and tears fell slowly. Her mouth fell open, as if words were trying to escape her, but nothing came out. She was wrapped up in a silence, that held a horrid death grip on her.

She slowly stood, and moved to her mirror. Staring at her dim reflection, she couldn't help but laugh, in horrific hysterics. Was she really crying over this? How many times would she have to say it, to make it all go away?

"I love you," the words fell from her lips, "I love you," she watched her mouth turn upside down into that sad frown, "I-I..." she curled her hand into a tight fist, and slammed it into the mirror, shattering the glass, "I hate you."

--------

Oh, My God.

2007-04-07T02:57:42Z

THAT GIRL DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T STAND HER ANYMORE AND I WISH SHE WOULD JUST DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>.<

So, it's been a while, has it not? Let me update you on some stuuuuff.

Met a guy.
Guy was sweet.
Guy found out I liked him.
Guy turned into a fucking dickhead.
Guy is no longer in life.
Fantastic.

Hmmmm, oh! Yeah! And great news!

I'm back with . makes me so happy again...and I never realized how much I really missed , until we started talking again. God, does make me smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mandy is one of my best friends ever. I love her to death, and I would do anything for her. Name it, and I'd do it. :) I love you Mandy. <3333
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm on the verge of not graduating. Hahahaha. What a joke right? Wrong. I'm dead fucking serious. I'm putting my ass into gear now, but I shouldn't have slipped in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah! My mom thinks I'm doing drugs again. XD GOD. SHE'S SO FUCKING FUNNY YOU GUYS!!! >.< Like I'm that fucking retarded. *rolls eyes*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, besides that, life is FUCKING dandy ya know? Well, peace guys.

<3,
Becca

Yeah...It's Been a While

2007-02-04T03:17:16Z

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo......yeah it's been a long while, I know. But I've been busy and I have a good ass excuse thank you.

Right now, I'm at Kellie's at K's b-day party and it's pretty pimpin' thus far...did a little drinking game...XDDDD I know, I'm so innocent right? NOT. Bleh.

Uhm, I don't know what else to say...and uh...yeah I'll update more later!

What?

2006-12-05T22:13:36Z

What's livejournal?

SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE!!!

I love you all.

If I Never Knew...

2006-08-29T19:13:11Z

Well, Scott's home! I'm really happy about it. Though, because he doesn't live here anymore, it's not the same ya know? I mean, he says we're going to be spending a shit load of time together, but I've really only seen him twice now. He took his truck back...I ish NOT happy about that. I can't go anywhere and do anything for three months now. Oh well...*sigh*

School starts in a week. =D I'm so excited. I'm a senior baby!!! WOOHOO!!! One more year of LCN And then I'll be at MCC!!! WoOt.

My birthday is this Thursday: 8/31/06!!!! I'M GONNA BE 17 MOFO'S!!!! XD YIPEE!!!! I can drive after midnight now!!! Wahoo! lol. I'm havin' a small party Friday with fam and close friends.

Uhm, work is good. They only have me scheduled ONE DAY this entire week, for five hours. I'm so pissed. I was like, "I need money for my bills to ya know!" >.< Stupid managers sometimes.

Sleepover at Kellie's last night. LMAO! It was some fun shit! Tho, I passed out first, because I had to be home by 8:00am, so mom could go to work and I could watch Jack. Dude, I love my mom and all and I know she needs help, but I'm tired of watching Jack ALL fucking summer ya know? I mean, I DO have a life of my own. Egads. >.<

Anyway, I gots to go.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

<3,
Becca

Well, well, well...

2006-06-28T01:51:28Z

So...

I HAVE A JOB AT ARBY'S....YAY! I love it! It's so fun and the people there are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice!!! It's a LOT fucking better than Sugarbush Tavern. Those people there were bitches.

~*~*~*~

I'm at Sara's now...Oh how I love Sara. She'll be spending the night at my hizzouse tonight and then leaving from there to go to work. :D YAY

~*~*~*~

Uncle Dave fixed my brake pads and rotors. That's good. The truck is nice now. Though, he said there's still something wrong with it, but my dad said that he'd fix it.

~*~*~*~

I've been seeing Debrah again and things are going okay I guess. I see her tomorrow and what not, at 11.

~*~*~*~

There's definately a PANIC button on this keyboard! I wonder what will happen if I...PRESS IT!!! .............OH MY GOD! THERE'S AN ALARM GOING OFF!!!!

JUST KIDDING!!!! XD Sara's mom glued it to the keyboard...teehee. Sounds like something I would do.

~*~*~*~

Well, we're leaving in a little bit, so...I bid thee fairwell until next time.

BIDDING THEE FAIR WELL!!!!

<3,
Becca

What a Day...

2006-06-21T02:41:07Z

Well, summer vaca has been OKAY so far. Not the best, but what are you going to do right? I really wish school wasn't over. I MISS SCHOOL!!! >.<

Have I ever told you that I wear my sunglasses at night? o.O No? Well, I do. :D Just thought you should know.

VBS is kicking my ass! I'm so worn out by the end of the day, but I stay up late b/c I like the night. O_O So then I'm EXTREMELY tired in the morning, but oh well.

I GOT A JOB!!! ARBY'S ON 23 and Gratiot!!! YIPEE!!!! I start training next week! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!

Third Day concert August 11th!!! o.O I hope I can go.

I need new brakepads on the truck...I'm metal on metal...U_U I also need to rotors...w/e those are...^^;;

Mom and I are slowly mending our mother/daughter relationship.

I put a hole in the wall, not on purpose tho.

I'm sleepy.

I miss him.

But I don't.

I MISS SCOTTIE!!! I WANT HIM TO COME HOME SOON!!! I LOVE YOU SCOTTYWATTAPATOMUS!!!!!!

XD

I'm going to bed!!!

<3,
Becca

Falling for the Bounty

2006-05-10T02:20:45Z

Character Sketch Dialogue

It was around three AM when a rather loud beeping noise filled the darkened room. An
irritated groan came from the sleeping figure, who was tangled up in her bed sheets. She rolled
over and grabbed the source that awakened her from the peaceful slumber that she had been
embraced in. A bright, glowing light filled the room as she flipped open the voice/video transmitter.
The light blinding her for a moment, she blinked, trying to get rid of the multicolored spots that she
saw.
"Kimali," she answered groggily.
"Aw, you looked cute when you've just woken up, bed hair and everything," said a voice
from the transmitter.
"Aeyon, it's three in the morning!" Hoqe protested angrily as the colored spots finally went
away and she now looked at a fellow Bounty Hunter, "This better be good," she rubbed the sleepiness
from her eyes.
"Oh, it is, trust me," Aeyon grinned brightly and as he did, a picture of a man appeared next
to his face, "Alexander Whitmore, your new bounty,"
"Please tell me you have more information, or do I have to work off that picture?" Hoqe set the
transmitter on the bedside table and propped herself up on her elbow.
"Yes, yes, there's more. But then again, knowing you, you COULD work off the picture," Aeyon
smiled, "Anyway, here it is,"
Hoqe looked at all the windows that began popping up all over the screen of the transmitter. She
shook her head, "What kind of bounty are you giving me Aeyon? This guy doesn't even have parking tick-
ets, let alone a bounty on his head!"
"Would you hang on a second? God, Kimali, you're such a-"
"Wait!" Hoqe grabbed the transmitting, bringing the screen a little closer to her face, "Pull that
last window back up!" She sat up quickly and tapped the sides of the transmitter impatiently.
"This one?" Aeyon asked, putting the window back up, which contained two pictures of a man
and a woman.
"Why does he have a bounty on him?" Hoqe asked, flicking tiny spheres of fire into each corner
of her room, letting the light dance along the walls, casting a spooky glow.
"He murdered a family, well, just the parents. Their daughter was sent to live with her grand-
parents for most of her life,"
Hoqe looked back at the screen, her eyes narrowing on the pictures of the man and woman, "What?
What were their names?"
"Read it yourself! I've still got more information to send to you!"
"The print is too small! READ IT!" Hoqe snapped irritably.
Aeyon sighed in defeat and began reading, "The devistation took place last night, May 10th, 2007.
A serial killer entered the home of the-" he stopped abruptly.
"What? Why did you stop?"
"There's no more, it just stops," Aeyon lied through his teeth. He forced a smile and quickly looked
away from the transmitter, "Okay, I lied. It says that the family's name was Kimali, but, it's probably of no
relation to you,"
Aeyon looked back at the transmitter, "Right?"
Hoqe cleared her throat and gave her head a shake, her long black hair falling in front of her eyes,
hiding her emotions, "No, I've never seen them before, and my parents died of tuberculosis, both of them
had it," she lied quickly, "Fax over the info, and I'll be at Headquarters in an hour,"
Before Aeyon could respond, Hoqe closed the transmitter. She pushed the thought of the bounty
from her mind and rolled out of bed, only to be greated by her Saint Bernard, Brussy. Ruffling his ears,
she kissed him good morning and made her way downstairs. Hoqe lives in a loft on the top floor of
Tian Towers, giving her an amazing view of Tian. She loved it, being up in the clouds and away from
civilation.
Taking care of her morning rituals, Hoqe strapped on her weapons and then added the last
touch, which was a black hat, with a red feather from her father. He was a Bounty Hunter as well,
and she had decided to follow in his footsteps when she was only a year old. But elves matured
quicker than humans did, so by the time she was a year old, she was already walking and slightly
speaking. She looked at herself in the mirror and a smile crossed her face,
"I look good," she complimented herself, "I'm really glad I added red to my hair," she smiled,
running her fingers through her black hair with red tips and streaks. Turning around, she walked down
the steps to the main floor of her loft and started across the floor. Her boots thudded against the hard
wood floor. Brussy came rushing down the stairs as well and was at her heels the entire time. Hoqe
smiled and stopped at the fax machine, grabbing the information Aeyon had faxed over to her. She
would look them over with Aeyon at Headquarters later.
Walking towards the door, Brussy blocked it and whimpered in protest. Hoqe knelt down
and let him lick her face before giving him a kiss and standing. She rubbed his head fur, and looked
around at her loft. The walls were painted black and blood red, the curtains matched colors except a
length of fabric was silver as well, adding a mystical appeal to it. Her gaze drifted to the hand rail of the
of the stairs, which had flowered vines weaving in and out of the steel bars. Hoqe then opened the front
door to her loft, and walked out. Closing it behind her, she heard it lock and she leaned back against the cold
steel. It sent shivers through her spine, but she didn't care. As she stood there, the wind from the open
window down the hall crept in, and it took the locks of her hair by the hand, and danced a dance that
you could only picture in a picture book.
Hoqe walked to the stairwell and looked down the middle of it. She could see the main floor
below, a good twenty-five stories down. Gripping the handrail tightly, she jumped and pulled herself
over the rail. Falling at a rapid speed down the middle, she watched people go by who were walking
down the stairs. They leaned over the rail and gawked at her as she landed on bended knee on the
marble floor. Walking towards the door that led to the park garage, she stopped when her hand
touched the handle. She had forgotten about the fire spheres in her room. Concentrating her
thoughts on the spheres, she snapped her fingers and they appeared in the palm of her left hand,
before twisting into nothing but smoke.
Twisting the door knob, she walked out into the parking garage. The door slammed loudly
behind her as she walked towards her car. It stuck out like a sore thumb: completely black, with pearl-
essance silver streaked up the sides, metallic silver rims, and dark, black tinted windows. Walking up
to her car, she stood at the driver's side window and spoke,
"Nloccuth heten óorsdë otén ränqúilitytë," she said in her elvish tongue. The car alarm
sounded twice before the doors unlocked. Opening the door, the climbed into the car and shut the
the door. Silenced embraced her happily, having missed her for so long. Hoqe leaned forward and
pressed the ignition button and the engine roared to life. Putting on her seatbelt, she put the car
into first gear. She pulled out of the parking garage and to the street. She smiled and whipped out
in front of traffic. She had only been on the road for a few seconds but she already had her car in
fifth gear. Hoqe grinned, her Toyota Celica was the BEST vehicle ever. She flew down the roads
and finally to the highway. Driving quickly, yet carefully, a woman in a SUV pulled out in front of
her, "Étgen útóen foen heten äywën!" Hoqe shouted at the woman who cut her off.
Hoqe glanced over at the papers in the passanger seat. She saw the bounty's face and
the faces of her parents staring back at her. She gripped the stearing wheel tighter as adrenaline
began to soar through her bloodstream. That WAS the man that slaughtered her parents right
in front of her when she was only a year old. This was it. Hoqe only needed on more bounty to
reach her goal and Alexander Whitmore was going to be the cherry ontop of the million bounty
sundae.

himchik @ 2006-05-05T23:06:00

2006-05-06T03:11:19Z

GAH! I miss Scott...this is gay.

I miss you Scott. I don't really have anyone to talk to out here now that you're gone...I'm wishing it will be september soon...and just think...by the time you get back...your little sister will be a senior in high school...and you probably won't be here for most of my senior year...just make sure you're here for graduation, that's all I'm asking for...

BLAH BLAH BLAH! I'm EXTREMELY TIRED! AND IT'S ONLY 11:07PM HOW WEIRD IS THAT?! I've developed a bad habit of being annoying...O_O am I JUST noticing that?

School's okay I guess.

Matt and I have been going out for THREE MONTHS and still going strong. :D

His birthday was Tuesday 5/2/06 :) I got him a blue monkey wearing a t-shirt that said I <3 Chicago, and a double shotglass that said the same thing...:D I WAS SO EXCITED!

OH YEAH! CHICAGO WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN IN MY LIFE! MY MOM CAME WITH US TOO, AND I KNOW SHE HAD A BLAST! I GREW CLOSER TO ALMOST EVERYONE ON THAT TRIP AND IT TESTED MY PATIENCE TOLLERANCE, B/C THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE THAT WERE CLOSE TO DYING BY MY HANDS....^^;;

Anyway, enough yelling. I'm going to bed now, goodnight! I love you all!!!!

<3,
Becca

I LOVE YOU MATT!!!!

Oh Boy...

2006-04-25T00:39:21Z

Well, another day as passed...only two days now until my mom and I leave for Chicago with the rest of the Choir peeps that are going. I'm nervous, but it will pass...One thing I know for sure...I'm going to miss Matt like CRAZY!!! He and I go together like bagels and cream cheese...it looks like...he's not going to have any bagels for a few days...and I'm not going to have any cream cheese...:(

I miss Scott a lot...:( I don't like him being away for so long...just hearing his voice isn't enough. I NEED TO SEE MY OLDER BROTHER BEFORE I GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!

*sobs hysterically*

RPing...so...uhm...bye

<3,
Becca

What's Liver Got to Do With True Love? o.O

2006-04-10T02:20:26Z

Well, there's a H.I.M concert May 16th, which I CAN'T go to...I'm SOOOOOOOOOO bummed...but oh well I get to go to Chicago at the end of this month, so I guess it SORTA makes up for it!

I'm extremely tired.

Only four days of school this week, then spring break bitches! WoOt!

TeeHee...I've got monkey's on my pajama's...

-_- tired...

Going to bed now...

GOODNIGHT!!!!!!

<3,
Becca

Today Went from AWESOME to FUCKED UP

2006-03-25T01:32:21Z

AWESOME: I went with Alison to get her FIRST TATTOO! It was amazing! I can't wait to get mine, and they we went out to eat. We have so much fun together! I love Alison sooooooo much! It's great!

FUCKED UP: I GOT FIRED FROM SUGARBUSH TAVERN! WHY?! B/C I COULDN'T CARRY ALCOHOLIC DRINKS TO PEOPLE THAT ORDERED THEM.........HOW GAY IS THAT?!

LIKE RIGHT NOW...I REALLY WANT TO GO DIE...IT'S SO GAY....

OH WELL, WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT?@!

well....I'm gonna go wait around for him to call me...

<3,
Becca

I LOVE YOU MATT!!!

Has It Really Been This Long?

2006-03-13T22:02:40Z

I LOVE YOU MATTHEW PARZYNSKI!!!!

You're the best thing that's happened to me in a while! You know when I'm joking, you know when I'm not. You know when I want to be left alone, you know when I need a good cuddling session. You know where to kiss me, you know how to make me squeal. You know how to hold me, you know how to PEARL DROP and make me giggled and clap happily. You know how to make me giggle, you know how to make me laugh. You know how to make me feel bad, you know how to make me feel good. You know how to make me cry, you know how to make me smile.

YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!!!

This is all I ever wanted in life...and now I have it. I hope and pray, that you will be with me forever and for always. My love for you, is never ending and unconditional.

I LOVE YOU

<3,
Becca

Life is Like a Box of Caramel Chocolates

2006-02-05T21:26:18Z

Well...Matt and I are going out...I guess a lot of people were expecting it...but what can I say? It just sort of happened.

We're exactly opposite of each other and opposites attract...hehe

Well, I'm cooking and watching Sister Act...

Superbowl is on in a few hours...

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

<3,
Becca

Sick of You

2006-01-28T15:58:47Z

I just want to be able to let you go, but I can't. It's completely impossible. Those good times we shared, the laughs, the tears, I can't forget them. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're like cocaine. Once you're tasted, you need daily dosages. I can't get enough of you, and yet I don't want any of you. You're like that nasty cough medicine that calms the lungs. You taste horrible, yet you're good for the body. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're like an addiction. Once you've been taken, you can't stop. Kisses so sweet, a touch like ice. A cool, yet warm embrace. You are the light of the world and yet you're the darkness that surrounds it. You're the sweet scent of the fields of flowers. You're the bumble bee, licking up the sweet nectar of life...I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You are the air that I breath, the sweet musk that you wear. You are my eyes so I can see. You are my strength when I'm weak. You're my voice when I can't speak. You're the source of my very energy, the power behind the person. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're everything I love and everything I hate. With you, I'm miserable. Without you, I'm even worse. You light up my life. You push me into darkness. You are the voice that leads me to safety, yet you're the voice who pushes me into danger. You are the angel who held me close, and yet you're the demon who casted me into the firey pits of hell...I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're my anti-drug and yet you're my pot, my ecstasy, my cocaine, my heroine, my special k...You're my reason for living and my reason for dying. You're my reason for smiling, my reason for crying. You're my reason for staying up late, and getting up early. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're my Jesus, you're my satan. You're my Bible, my book of Job. You're my preacher, my worship leader. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're the gum on the bottom of my shoe. You're the rocks stuck in the soles. You're the glass that I walk on, you're the sand between my toes. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

You're the reason my heart hurts so much. You're the reason my heart races with excitement. You're the cause of tears, you're the cause of goosebumps. You're the cause of screams, you're the cause of moans. You're the cause of everything. I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

I'm sick of you. But I'll be okay. Because the more dosages of your vaccination I get, the more I get sick. I'm sick of you...Nothing else will work...so I guess you'll have to do...because...

I'm sick of you. I've caught your virus and I don't know what to do. You're the only vaccination, and my prescription has run out.

WOOHOO!!!!!!

2005-12-31T20:25:58Z

Watch Video:

FINAL FANTASY X: CRASH AND BURN (Savage Garden)

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Florida

2005-12-20T01:40:01Z

Well, here I am! Sunny Florida, here comes Becca! lol! Well, sadly, I can't go visit my friends in Orlando, they're too far away. If we had drove, I could've gone to see them, but nooooooo, we just HAD to fly...>.< oh well, I'll get over it...

WEBCAM for christmas!!! YAY! My 2006 HIM Calander...XD

I LOVE YOU!!!

<3,
Bexxa

~*Sanctuary*~